The Day I Tried to Open a DONK File

PRATT UNO

Once upon a time, my name was Bruce. But my name is Caitlyn now, so call me that. Anyway, back when I was a man, I heard about computers and how they were the thing of the future. They were likely some fad, but I had enough money to buy a million computers. I went to Future Shop and asked the clerk what a computer was, and what I could do with it. He didn't tell me what a computer was for some reason, but he said "The most powerful computer out there is the Apple Mac. It has the sheer power to play 1 or 2 video games, play music for 12 bucks a year, and even use the Internet! And it's only 999.99!" Wow! A computer that could do all that, for only 900 dollars?! How could I resist?

PRATT DISK OPERATING SYSTEM

As I walked out of Future Shop with my brand spanking new Apple computer, I thought I heard the clerk whisper "Sucker." Must've been the wind. Anyway, after plugging it in to an outlet in my McMansion, I turned it on. After setting up the Internet, I decided to go onto a website, whatever that was. After typing in 4 random numerals and .org, I pressed Enter. 4Chan.org. A global chatting network for adults? How could I resist? I couldn't decide which "board" to go on first, so I just clicked Random. I was so excited to post my first thing!! I shared but a few sentences, across the entire internet; and it was "Who else is a Mac user? It's the best computer in the world!" After 7 second of waiting for a response, I got a flood of people saying "kill urself scenekid" and "windows master race xd". I decided this wasn't the place for me, and went to freedownloads.biz. There I found a PC Cleaner, a PC Optimizer Pro (Whatever that is) and something called MyDoom Mac Edition. What fun! But there was one file I downloaded that stood out to me. It was called "wonk.donk".

PRATT TRE COOL

I opened the DONK file. It flooded my 900 dollar Mac with... nothing.
It was basically nothing.
I decided to restart the computer. But then MyDoom wiped my hard drive. Maybe I should've remembered that doom was bad!
LE END... UNTIL CAITLYN GETS A NEW ONE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA
Oh. Also, you're next.